sitting...
Sitting …crossed legged…staring right in front of me…waiting for something to happen. My site is clearly a blur and there is little noise…just the buzzing of stale air around me. Why am I still sitting? I cannot seem to come to a slow crawl and when I think I have that momentum to lift myself up to do so, something else reminds me I need to sit back down. It happens that way…in waves…I think I am a pretty strong person but am reminded by my surroundings that I am as fragile as a wilted leaf hanging on for dear life half way through the fall season. I am in the midst of my fall. The month of November is already here. Can I say it? I hate November. I hate it with every ounce of my being. Tomorrow is John’s 29 th birthday, the 12 th will be the one year anniversary of his passing, the 15 th was the day of the funeral, and the 17 th will be my 28 th birthday. What a great time to celebrate isn’t it? What is the point really? Is there one? As each day passes with the different d