and then there was one...

I want to start by updating everyone on my mom’s current health. It is incredible to witness the strength of that woman. She was in a terrifying head-on collision and has lived to tell about it. Though she continues to be in agony and is walking with a cane, she smiles through it all. That Peruvian spitfire will not settle for giving up, but rather be an example of strength and grace through it all. She may have more surgeries in her future and will continue to be in pain for months, maybe even years to come, but that will not stop her from making someone smile or continuing to be my inspiration of that very grace she has shown throughout this ordeal. Oh, how proud I am of my mom and am so thankful that day did not take her away from us. Thank you, God. Now, I bring myself to remember this day, 4 years ago. It has been 4 years to the day that John left this earth. Within those 4 years there have been a lot of tears, grieving, growth, and as of late, a whole lot of smiling. I did n

I can admittedly say that I stepped away from God these past few years. I was never the perfect Catholic/Christian growing up, nor did I read the bible or say a prayer every night. I would use God when I needed him…leaned on him when I thought he could possibly help…cried out to him in my worst of times…and then completely shut him off and hated him when John passed away. He did not help the situation and did not heal him but rather I felt, he took him away. These past few years, rather than leaning on God or using him as a crutch, I leaned on my family, my friends, and myself. I have not prayed in a long time. I thought those who did pray were weak and those who boasted about how “religious” or “committed” they were to Him were showing off and annoying. I hated the term, “Things happen for a reason…God will show you the way…blah blah blah.” It was too much for me to bare. I was judgmental, feeling hurt, thought love and good vibes could cure all, but at the end of the day, somethin